So I have had my Soom Event Chrom/Euclase hybrid at home for about a week and I love him! Like the other two times I am very pleased with Soom's service and I like how neatly they package their dolls.
The first face up I did I was not happy with at all so I redid it the next day. I am happier with this one. I have yet to blush his bird feet or claw hands. I will do that after I have sanded his seams, cleaned and sueded him.

Well... picture time! I had to wait until the evening before I could pick him up so the light in my apartment was awful.

Boxy <3


Head, birdy feet and claw hands. Me gusta!


Got a nice catalogue this time. Here is Sabik and Saiph. One day I shall own them both. Getting a boy version of Saiph though.


Body!


Managed to get his feet, hands and head on. I had already his wig and eyes prepared for him.


Such a lovely face!


Had to cut that freakishly long hair. It would have been impossible to handle him otherwise.


Just trying to show off how big he actually is. That is my face up station behind. I've got two different workstations. One for face ups and one for drawing. When I sew I just sit on the floor.
The shirt is from Dollmore and is actually for Model Ladies but the style suited him really well so... it is his now. The simple trousers I made for him since you cannot get anything else on him unless you take his feet off. They are not amazingly well made but they will do for now.


I plopped him down when the light was decent and took some photos of him when his face up was done.
All finished. =)






Oh, almost forgot that I gave little Howell a new face up too since his last one was a failure. Better now. ^_^

I have been going through a low period for some time now. I haven't been feeling depressed or anything. Just tired and uninspired to really do anything. Have mostly been playing various games on my PC and taking walks. So it hasn't been all that bad. It annoys me though when I am not doing anything creative at all. Hoping that will change now since it feels I am slowly heading toward a more awake phase.
It would probably have sucked a lot more had it not been for the medication I am on and for the great friends and mother I am blessed with. So grateful for that.


I finally redid Howell's faceup and he looks a lot better now. I felt ashamed of how the last one turned out. I will try to take some pictures today.

And last night while lurking on DoD I saw several people having their Soom event dolls on shipping. So I went to check on my Talon and he is on his way! F*ck yeah! =D
My birthday is coming up in just two weeks so I will have him here a week before that. Best birthday present ever! I already have his wig and eyes but I will have to sew him clothes when he gets here. He is suppose to wear very simple clothes so hopefully I will be able to pull it off.
It is time for me to get new cans of MSC though. I don't have enough of it to blush his bird feet. It will be interesting to see if I will be able to sand the were-fur off his ears. If not I will simply let the wig hide them. I already hide Parley's human ears with his wig so I am not too bothered by doing that.

When Talon is here it is time to start focusing on who to bring home next. I have almost saved up enough to bring home big SD if I so wish. I don't rush it though. I want to really concentrate and enjoy finally having Talon here.

Soom is having the same kind of event with their MD ladies though and I am torn between just ignoring it and getting my Draenei character Fendrite. I would not have hesitated if grey skin had been available. But they only have normal skin and tan for the event. My girl is suppose to be a dark grey. So either get her in ns or tan and change her character a bit or just not get her at all. Hard decision to make. Still have a few more days to think about it.

Well, time for me to take a nice walk and then make dinner.

Dear diary!
Still playing Skyrim. =>

I thought I should do something else than playing World of Warcraft everyday. So I bought Skyrim. X3
Bye bye real world! I'll see you in a few months. In the meantime I will be off to new adventures with my companion Sinderiel.

It has been one month and five days since I ordered Talon. I am still hoping I will get him before New Year.

I have not been updating lately. Nothing interesting has been happening really. Sara was here though a couple of weeks back and we had a lovely time as always. But that is pretty much it. Most days I spend doing nothing. I have been dead tired all the time. I play WoW and talk to my old friends and my newly found British friends.
I did get my kitteh boy's fantasy parts blushed the other day. And I have indeed gotten som new characters. I will write about them and try to draw some of them. But not today. It will have to wait until I have more energy. Ugh! It sucks being this tired all the time. I am sick of it!

My mood goes up and down like a bouncing ball. I have no idea what to expect when I wake up in the morning. I have all this pent up anger that threatens to surface any time. I do not know what to do about it. I try to reason with myself but I am not very good at it. There is way too much emotion. I still overreact to a lot of things. My biggest problem is not understanding other people and the frustration that comes with it.
I do not get why most people feel and think the way that they do. And a lot of the time I dislike them for their opinions and reasoning.
I am not just a bit annoyed either... it is pure black hatred I am feeling. To the point of wishing some people would not exist any more. If they would perish in the most painful way possible, even better!
Is there a monster inside me? Why am I so hateful?
I do not know where to put all these ugly feelings so I just throw them at my characters.
"Here! You deal with it!"
And I let someone like Raben act out the bitterness I am feeling. He slashes people to pieces, throws whores off balconies and acts like a beast, not caring who he hurts.
Zundhar tortures men and women alike if it serves his purposes. He hits a woman for simply touching him. He is a racist who looks down on most people from earth. He sees them as inferior primitive beings.
Ryo is cold and despises those who do not share his values and has no problem if they are disposed of. He will even clean up the mess.
They are my characters, born from me. Does this make me a bad person? I do not judge them at all. I just sit quietly, smile and nod when I picture these scenes.

When the anger will not subside I try another approach. Dreaming myself away.
I wish I could go to that world. Leave this place and all of its frustrations and all of its stupid and filthy population! Bye bye Earth! You will not be missed!
I would let Ryo give me a new body. A strong, beautiful and normal body. I would then look down on my old one, spit on it and say "HAH! Good riddance!". Then it would be burned to a crisp and flushed down the toilet. Piece of crap!
I would go to a Toasted Toad concert and see them play. I would dance and shout until my voice would break. And then to the Carnival district. I would go on all the rides, visit the Horror House and the Mirror Halls where people in masks dance the night away. I would see the very controversial Freak Show and the amazing Circus.
I would travel by the clean and fast underground vehicles to the Empress Castle. She would smile at me because I would belong. We could drink tea in her garden and eat biscuits.
Whenever I felt like it I would go to the Art Centre where anyone and everyone is welcome. I would paint, draw and sculpt and even make my own dolls. I could learn to sew and make miniature furniture.
I could go to the cinema and watch movies with characters I can actually relate to.
There is no weather in the Metropolis of Ganymede so you never have to feel too cold or too warm.
There is no one stupid enough to believe in religion.
There is no gender specific anything. People can wear and do pretty much anything they want. As long as you do not harm another person (only the Elite are allowed to do that) you can do what you want. You decide what you want to do with your own body. Want to take drugs? No problem! Want to hurt yourself? By all means go ahead but try not to make a mess OK! You want to fuck in the streets? No one cares, just don't get in anyone's way and again... don't make a mess. Make love to anyone and in anyway you want.
There are no insects there. The beautiful plants, trees and flowers get help from tiny little robots shaped like butterflies in the most brilliant colours you can imagine.
All houses, apartments and rooms are sound proof so you never have to be disturbed by inconsiderate neighbours. You can laugh and sing as much as you want without bothering anyone.

I wish I could go there. I wish I will go there when I die. But now I am stuck here and I am angry.
Will I ever feel silly and hopeful again like I used to in the past? I hope so. I will be a pain in the ass-butt to my friends and family if I don't. I am amazed they have put up with me for this long.

I also hope my wonderful mother gets better soon. It hurts like hell to see her suffer. You fucking SUCK world! Why the hell is it always good people like her who gets all the bad stuff, huh?! Sucketisucksuck!

I need stronger drugs...

Well, after that walk and some sleep I felt a bit better waking up this morning. And then I checked my youtube and looked at Total Biscuit and Jesse Cox playing Terraria. Let me tell you that watching TB and Jesse fight off a Goblin army makes it impossible to be mad at the world.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sda77XTHi30&feature=feedu
I am stressed out that my doctor called yesterday and told me they were going to start running regular tests again. I am so freaking tired of tests. But you know what? I am just going to have to deal with it! Suck it up, put my big boy panties on and f-ing deal with it!
I have a gorgeous gigantic doll with awesome birdy feet to look forward to after all. Why moan and bitch about how the rest of the world sucks? I will just stay in my little Hobbit hole draw homo erotica, adventure in Azeroth and play with dollies. Take tiny steps, one day at a time and hopefully I will come to a point in my life where things are looking up.

I ordered my Chrom/Euclase early in the morning, payed him in full and got him blank in normal skin. I wonder if I am going to be one of the first ones to receive mine. Of the people who ordered from Soom's site and not on the event that is.
A lot of people seem to order theirs in bronze skin. Will Soom work on the more difficult bronze skin and get those out first or the easier normal skin? Because I am egoistic and impatient I hope they will get the easier ones first. My last three dolls have all had long loooong wait times.

Now I need to go check my mailbox in World of Warcraft and see if I have made some money off the market. And then I will mine with my sweet little Draenei. Yup, yup. Ciao!

Here comes a long rant about how bad I thought the show Tiger & Bunny was. If you whoever is reading this wishes to see this anime, don't read! If you happen to like this show, don't read!
You have been warned.


I just finished watching the anime Tiger & Bunny and I was really underwhelmed by it. I had heard so much praise so I really expected more. High expectations can be a bad thing sometimes.
I had heard it was a series about two guys becoming partners and fighting crime. And that is was a show for older guys that younger people must watch too. So I thought it would be a kind of detective themed series. Solving mysteries and fighting bad guys in dark allies. What I got instead was a semi-mecha thing about mutant superheroes. *facepalm*

It was difficult to feel anything for the characters. They felt shallow and forced. The same goes for the story. One cliché followed another. They could have spent more time focusing on the main characters. They went from "I hate you!" to "Omigosh we are the best team evah!" from one episode to the next. Nothing in between. They wasted time on the very uninteresting side characters when they could have used that time on Tiger and Barnaby.

And the stories about the side characters felt meaningless and even stupid some times. The egocentric bitch who moaned about wanting to sing instead, grow the f*ck up! And what was she wearing anyway? It looked like a badly made bathingsuite with tentacles coming out of its ass.
The episode with the lighting girl was also a big wtf. The lesson to learn from that one was apparently that all girls must strive to be cute.
Sky High... don't get me started on that one. How f'cking shallow can a guy be!? Falling in love with someone who sit and stares out into the air and can only say three sentences? *sigh*
Origami dude? Cute but kind of meh. Felt like a fill out.
The gay guy though voiced by the wonderful Kenjiro Tsuda really pissed me off as well. Why oh why does the gay characters always have to be so damn annoying and silly? Walking around in pink high heels and referring to himself as "one of the girls". Once, just once I would like to see an anime where a gay character is not a comic relief and where he or she would behave and look just like all the other characters.

They also wasted time on Tiger's loud and annoying brat of a kid. Come on! The "goofy daddy who cares too much about his precious little daughter" has been done to death! Is there nothing original out there any more? She added absolutely nothing to the story. The things she did could have been done by any other character. And his dead wife... we got one flashback of her and once again you felt nothing. The makers of this anime did not seem to care so why should the viewers?
His past did not add anything to the story. It felt out of place and he would have been a lot cooler and interesting if he had been more of a lonely guy who had never had a connection to someone else. Then the partnership between him and Barnaby had felt more believable.

I stumbled across this show just because the net is filled of fan made yaoi art of these two. I really don't get why. There is very little tension that suggest anything else than friendship and Tiger at least if obviously straight. Barnaby though you could have your doubts about his orientation. Sure they would make a stunning couple but unfortunately fangirls and boys out there... in your dreams. This anime is made by people who would never dare to make their lead characters fall in love. They would most likely force one of them into some cliché and barf inducing hetero romance that we all have seen a gazillion times before. Probably with the most shallow and whiny bitch they can muster up.

So do I have anything positive to say about this show? It was really nicely animated I give them that. The guy who called himself Lunatic was actually interesting! To me he was the life support of the show. Barnaby was cute and his story was pretty engaging sometimes but dat hair... who the hell designed this character? Tiger or Kotetsu could have been a really attractive and interesting if they hadn't made him into that cliché goofy papa. The world does not need another Hughes thank you very much! If they had spent time on the main characters and honestly completely ignored the rest including his nauseatingly boring daughter and dead wify, made it a lot darker and grim I would have probably liked it. Aaaand... that was it. That is as positive as I can get this evening. As far as this show goes at least. It is now in the trash and in the trash it will stay.

Something positive has happened today though. I ordered my Talon this morning. He is paid in full and all I have to do now is wait.

That is unfortunately the only good thing though. I had to take medicine for my panic attacks just a while ago. I have felt it building up to that for the two last days. I have felt increasingly depressed lately and I don't know what to do about it. Take more pills? That is the only thing I can do. I guess I can squeeze out enough hope to believe that it might work if I do that.

I'll go for a walk now and see if that helps me calm down. To use a bjd metaphor, I feel like I have been way too tightly strung and I am about to snap any minute and fall to pieces. Every thing makes me angry. All I see in humanity is depravity and filth. Sluts, gluttons and liars. The only beautiful thing left is nature itself. Ugh... need to take that walk now. I will just get worse if I don't stop myself from ranting about it.

So I did finish my sketch, yesterday of the new guy. Still have no idea how he is suppose to fit in with the rest though. I know where he works and how he knows some of the other characters but that is pretty much it. Guess I will figure it all out eventually. He still has no name.



Lol at myself for not getting rid of all the pencil eraser before I took the picture. I wish I had a scanner.
It is almost five in the morning. Why am I not sleeping yet?

So it has been a quiet day. Most of my days are.
I played WoW during the day. I was questing with my Draenei mostly and later Ann-Cha came on, signed the Guild request form and now we have our own little guild. To my surprise my friends wanted to name it after my story, Ganymede. O_O I have wonderful and unpredictable friends.
It feels good to play with my Alliance characters for now. Zundhar my main, is a Horde and he is the most important to me but I started out as an Alliance player and some of the places I enjoy the most belong to them. Like Stormwind, Elwynn and all of Teldrassil. I also like most of the Alliance races. Night Elves and Draenei being the top two. With Horde though the Blood Elves and Forsaken are the only ones I really care for. Ghoblins are fun but the rest... ugh. I hate Trolls, the Cows are boring and Orcs are just loud and annoying. I wish there was a third faction where the Belfs and Forsaken could be. They really don't belong with the Horde. I thought I would always be an Alliance player, but then I wanted to just try a Blood Elf to see what it was like. 85 levels later... oops! How did that happen?

In the evening I watched some Criminal Minds and Ghost Hunters. Seven seasons of:
Grant "What was that?"
Jason "Footsteps?"
Grant "What the freak!?"
...and I still find it entertaining. I must be very easily amused or something.

I took an evening walk and when I came back I got Howell a new face up. I am not very happy with it. The eyebrows are OK I guess and I like the blushing and lips but I struggled with the damn eyelashes. When I took a picture of him they came out looking all yellow. It is not pretty at all. I feel frustrated just thinking about having to redo it again though so I will leave it like that for a while. It is pitch dark outside so the only light I have now is crappy at best.




I have been drawing some but not a lot. Been working on a little comic strip of Talon and Peter. Ooooh, which reminds me, Soom put the prices up. My Talon will cost me $630 and that was around the price range I was hoping for. I will probably be able to pay him in full. Yay! Might have him by Christmas. At least I hope so. You never know with Soom. If I get him before 2012 he will be my forth bjd within this year. How the hell did I manage that? Wonder if I will get as many next year. I have a lot of dolls on my wishlist.

It worries me that a character that has been lurking in the shadows is starting to murmur in the back of my mind. Whispering things to me. He has so far only been someone who is suppose to stay in the back, an extra and nothing more. But those piercing eyes are proving hard to resist. I am feeling the urge to draw him and that is never a good sign. Perhaps I will not have to get him in doll form...? There are only so many dolls you can fit into a one room + kitchen apartment.

I might just do a quick doodle of him. Just to see if I can recreate how he looks in my inner world.
I will keep listening to my D.Gray-man soundtrack while doing so. Having some serious DGM craving.
Hey Sara dear, how about we re-watch the entire show the next time you come down? =)
And maybe you could make a little Sennen Hakushaku out of clay?

Off to the messy but comfortable drawing area!

An artist needs a muse and other things to inspire him.


Ryo is a good muse.



AAAAAAACE! <3



Night night!